Love: Wrong Answers Only

Love is a warm consensual hug on a first date

And never speaking to them again

Love is an institutionalized system of reciprocal obligations

To force one to partake in Hallmark holidays

And patrimonial celebrations

Love is a dying red flower in a vase full

Of sugar and vinegar simple solution

Love is the assertion that the heart symbol

Originates from the crude representation

Of a woman’s ass coined for capitalism

Love is the chemical compound of

Dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin

Dancing together in your head to

Ensure biological reproduction

Love is making everything a metaphor for sex

Love is buying a 48-count pack of

Batteries from Sam’s Club

For your twice-a-day vibrator

And deleting Tinder in deliberate liberation

Love is smoking marijuana for the first time

And feeling your heartbeat through your clitoris

Love is an eight-inch dildo suction cupped

To the door of your apartment

And a breakup letter from your girlfriend on the doormat

Love is the unwritten rule

That when all lesbian relationships end

One must throw away the sex toys

Love is a broken finger on your dominant hand

And Googling:

“How to be an ambidextrous lesbian?”

Love is canceling your Sunday plans

To stay in bed and watch The L Word reruns

Love is a fully stocked condom machine

In the public library

And the top browsed category

“Sexy Hot MILF Librarians” on Pornhub

Love is an afro of pubic hair

Wool socks of leg hair

And razors thrown in the trash

Love Is a Dog from Hell

But that bitch wants HER drill back

And maybe an orgasm, just once?